Everyone Else (2009)

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Everyone Else (2009) – M. Ade

There’s an awkwardness and tension at a certain earlyish stage of relationships where things are not quite fully decided that director Maren Ade captures painfully here (with the help of brave performances from Birgit Minichmayr and Lars Eidinger). Although it doesn’t reach the outrageous heights that her subsequent film, Toni Erdmann (2016) did, the attention to relationship detail found there is also here.  I’ve read that many people find partners that are not perfectly suited to their own personalities, interests, or internalised norms and rules and, if that happens, it takes a lot of effort (and conflict) to make the relationship work.  Essentially two people need to adapt to each other, to decide where they will and will not compromise for their partner, and the result of this negotiation determines whether the relationship will persist or not.  This film shows that process unfolding during a holiday in Sardinia.  To make matters more tense, another couple appears and the social comparisons that are invited with this couple (who are seemingly more secure) cause further stresses between Chris and Gitti (Eidinger and Minichmayr).  A second look, however, suggests that the other “perfect” couple, although composed of two professionals (architect like Chris and fashion designer, unlike Gitti who does PR for a record company), has resolved their internal dynamic by letting the man completely dominate – he repeatedly belittles his partner (and patronises everyone else). Chris (undoubtedly insecure in the presence of his rival) tries this on (wanting to be like “everyone else”) but Gitti wants none of it.  To Ade’s credit, we in the audience never quite know where the relationship is headed – we endure the little crises (e.g., getting lost while hiking) and the major problems just as we have endured them in reality.  So, if your relationship isn’t quite at the right stage, this might not be a film for date night.  For everyone else, it’s uncomfortable but rewarding.